I don't know if you still read this site... Anyway this is the exact same symptom I started having lately. My interpretation is: now that I am past people who poisoned my life for a while, the bad stuff is finally coming up and I don't know yet how I am going to get through all of it.

I read on with your post and I see your wife was not acting nice with you...

Then you talked in a way to make her feel good or something that helped her not misunderstand the situation (i.e. she didn't think you were just trying to make her jealous, for example) and not do toxic behaviour, yeah?

Anyway tbh...the only way I was able to deal with these situations in the past was remove the toxic negative person from my life. Both from my life and from my mind in a sense. While that on its own wouldn't make my mental health (incl trauma/depression symptoms) better, it did remove burdens that I had no resources to deal with at that time. Like, I don't have the way to approach it like you do it because no one ever talks like that to me so it's not even been modelled for me.

Complicated stuff, this mental and emotional health stuff.

Hope you got to an even better place since then though.... Just saying that this post was great for me & thank you for it. Like... It's really cool you were able to pick an approach that was positive and all that. It requires mental and emotional strength I am sure.