it is hard to live in the present

for me though it's because not much has changed in tterms of my situation.

in the past I was abused by family and teachers, and now in the present I'm abandoned and abused by people still.

plus I don't have family and they wish that



and I have a **** mental health team. not sure it could be any worse if it wanted to be (my team, I mean). they are so uncaring

and I do nothing with my life these days because of all my pain. and memory issues. and all the other crap that's going on.

blah