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Have Hope · May 02, 2021, 08:21 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by eskielover

Wise.

I have learned to keep the real broken people at arms distance. I will help them but not engage with them.

Yes, we can be broken for awhile but we also have to throw away the things that cause us to be broken just like we learn to keep the broken people away.

Lol....I bring in stray animals that need healed, not people & you know, some of them don't survive. But broken people can screw up your life where animals don't

I also was a strong person before the last 13 years I lived with my husband. It is definitely possible to come back stronger & better when we heal & when we learn better skills to keep us from ever getting to that point again.

I would rather be a strong single woman than a weak married one & I personally will not waste my time ever "looking" for that "right" man. If he comes around my life & I observe that he is right OVER A LONG PERIOD OF TIME then I MAY CONSIDER but even that would be highly doubtful. Being selective is not a bad thing like some people paint it to be. It is being wise & IN CONTROL of your own life & there sure is nothing wrong with that.

This all takes time to develop & practice.....so be patient with yourself & keep working on eliminating those people & screening others thoroughly who come into your life. You can get to that stronger & better point

@eskielover, you say the wisest things. I couldn't agree more.

This is a crossroads I am at in my life. I realize I need to make some healthy changes and choices now in order to change my more unhealthy past.

I realize that I need to be far pickier about those whom I allow in. I realize I need to heal myself first and be alone for a long time.

I see what I need to do and I know I can do it. It's just a matter of actually DOING IT.

Change isn't easy, especially, dramatic change. And I need dramatic change in my life. I know it will take time, and that I may stumble and fall as I grow in a new direction. But I also know that it is necessary for me to make these big changes in order to welcome healthier people into my own life.

I will not be making the same mistakes over and over again. I've done that far too often, and that's why I see the necessity for me to make a life overhaul at the age of 50. I am ready for this now.

I am taking stock of my own patterns and behaviors and see how they've landed me into toxic situations for myself. No more. It's time to change the patterns and my life.