I know what you mean there, kd. With me, if I tried those things, the anger would go away as soon as I started. So it would be pointless, you know? It's irritating.

I have written some angry poems. They SOUND more angry than I'm able to really actually FEEL when I write them, though. But maybe they bring me closer to it? Have you ever tried that?

I also have taken a pen and just dug it into the pages of my journal, tearing them up. I did this as an alternative to si. Sometimes anger makes me want to hurt msyelf and do some serious damage, so I NEVER let myself si out of anger