It seems like some days I just react out of the blue and I feel like it's my fault that my life doesn't seem to be working out all that well. It seems like everyone hates me and I hate life as a result. I don't see how I can enjoy it in this manner. I have days when I can't seem to get my mind off of this one person especially if they hurt me emotionally in some way. Over the years, I was treated like I ruined everything and half the time I believed I did. Then it made me strongly wish I was someone else. I didn't want to be that same me anymore. I don't know why in God's name my mother didn't give me away. I had terrible tantrums as a child because I didn't know what the hell was going on like other damn 'normal' children. Some parents really got lucky with 'normal' children. My mother didn't. I couldn't socialize like 'normal' children and it made my childhood a rather serious one instead of a normal playful one. I wish I could just get over this. I just feel like others see me as selfish. I didn't want to be felt sorry for. I just wanted more socialization.