Hey Mark.
It sounds like forgiving yourself is an important step in your healing process.
I was chalk full of regrets, anywhere I went and anything I did fell under their shadow. It destroyed the joy of living, even the hope of joy.
Psychotherapy helped me get to a place where I was able to lift blame where it was misplaced and forgive the younger me for making mistakes.
I didn’t tackle it until I was in my late 30s, you have an opportunity to start the process towards finding ways to like yourself.
I didn’t have my own back when I was young, I didn’t care for myself, and that turned out to be one of only a few real regrets, it’s also why I felt so vulnerable and isolated.
Sometimes we have to protect ourselves from ourselves, no one else can do that for us.