Quote:
Originally Posted by Have Hope
I had a guy friend visit me last night - a friend I hadn't actually seen in four years, but we've texted. Every other sentence that came out of my mouth had to do with my husband. No joke. I can see how it's going to take a long time to get him out of my system.
I feel so alone in my struggle… I have several close friendships, but each of those friends are old friends who live out of state. Nearby me, I am realizing that my close friends are few…. I may even cut out one of those friends as I am seeing he is toxic to me -- and maybe that's the point is for me to be alone and be comfortable with it.
But I know I cannot survive this divorce on my own. I need support and help. I'm using my abuse support group on Facebook, and I may need to continue to call the abuse hotline, though that hasn't been all too helpful… it's really for crisis situations and safety measures. I feel like I need therapy three times a week. I am struggling with all the abuse. It's caught up with me, and now I am truly feeling the ramifications.
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Hey, I'm back on the forum after a few months and like I said in my response to your earlier post, I was going to check out your thread ...So I've read some of your newer thread here. I'm sorry to hear this guy is still giving you a hard time. And that's an understatement. I think you are getting good advice here
But I wanted to say that the post I quoted above is familiar to me. This is the state that I was left in after that guy I talked of in my thread (where we talked before).
I think you said you weren't this low before with other guys. Maybe it is with it being your first marriage at your age. Maybe it's why it went so deep and that is why it's so hard to get past it all and maybe you are also ready to really learn about some deep patterns from it all. I don't know, these are just my thoughts after reading your threads. I am just trying to say, I understand it's hard and well-meaning outsiders may see the full situation correctly from the outside but while we are inside it all, in the "bubble" and in all the unprocessed details and patterns of the experience it's very different than for outsiders. It's very different acutally having to go through all that and having to find our way through it all and out of the whole bubble and the situation.
I wish you luck with getting through it all and getting out of it in time before he possibly gets you even lower with all his extreme and remorseless emotional manipulations. And I said remorseless, yes, I still feel like he's a psychopath with how far he's willing to go with the emotional manipulations. I felt that before and I still have that feeling. Psychopaths do suck people dry and make them low like that, too. I saw your thread on the hospital (though I didn't have time to read it all yet). So things like that also make me think of how bad his emotional manipulations must be.
And in my case, it's taken more than 3 years to be decently over it (still not 100% over it but much better), after I went No Contact and that was with No Contact remaining in place, not breaking it, I got lucky with making him go away like he must have been so offended that he would never try and come back and pull me in again. That saved me because if I had got pushed lower then I'd have been def even more weakened than I was and I was very weakened and I still feel a lot of it even tho I got better.
I don't know how well I am reading your situation overall in an objective way but I just feel like I relate in a subjective way. So yes, I wish you luck very much. I'll hope I'll be able to be on the forum more and follow your thread again.