I find it hard to socialize because I feel left out of the conversation and often purposefully shut out when I'm in a sour mood. I just get tired of feeling like I'm the only female within my immediate family having to suffer this without a similar person to talk to. It's hard to live under this cloud of feeling like you're going to feel lonely for a very long time yet and you're not seeing the end to it. I had a dream recently that I was at a gathering and didn't have a good time and no one cared to listen to me except to admonish me and give me advice. It made me feel worse than ever having this premonition. It's hard for me to hope when I can see that I'd still feel lonely and that there seems to be little hope.