As to your question about texting your ex, my feelings are honesty is needed to disclose that to any new relationship. You’d let them know that you are still occasionally speak, and it’s up to the new bf to accept it or address their issue with it to you in a civil way, and you both to come to a compromise that works for you both— or the relationship isn’t going to work because it will cause a fight whenever you speak to your ex.

With your bf though, this is a very dangerous person! You say it’s such a deep love. It sounds to me like it’s way too intense and unhealthy all-around. When he was ranting vile names at you and tried to STRANGLE you, why did you find that acceptable enough to be in the same room with him again? If someone put their hands on my throat, that would certainly be enough for me to do a disappearing act and probably call the police.

If he acts intensely loving when things are good, but then intensely abusive when he is angry, it’s a very dangerous situation to put yourself in. It’s not love. You are confusing his ‘loving’ behavior with love, but it isn’t. If he is strangling you when he’s mad, it’s not love.

Please protect yourself and get away from him safely.