I think I partially understand what you mean.

Here's my thinking: My highest priority is survival. Eat, sleep, maintain myself financially. 2nd highest priority is working on my issues. Everything else is after these. But I feel like, this 2nd highest priority is so bad for some reason that it wants to overtake 1st priority and I absolutely can't have that. I can't allow it to suck me so deep that I can then never come out of there. I don't know if that made sense, let me know. It's this constant struggle between the two for sure. It's part of why it's all so exhausting.

The basic tasks I meant were: getting up from bed, dressing up, combing my hair, eating meals, a little physical exercise, showering, washing my teeth. Sometimes cleaning up, putting the place or the computer in order, etc.

The "some task" is my financial survival: work. It's part time remote work. But it's also not just financial survival, it's... survival of my self. Keep my brain working, keep a little objectivity in my life, a little doing something, not just sinking in depression or trauma.

What do you have in mind for how I should be doing this? How to get these priorities working together? Do you mean I should get up and then work on my issues right away? I would need to know how to thaw out for that too and do it in an emotionally safe way, because it's the exact same issue as with being able to do tasks, especially anything not routine, i.e. work tasks. (It's sometimes repetitive tasks and I like that the most, easiest on my mind... but often it's not repetitive and requires me to take up new data and commit it to memory to work with it. Just the nature of the job)

It's pretty much a catch-22 for me