Today the urges are strong - I tried the Ice technique to manage, but It just isn't the same. I'm really shaky today I had a really rough night and I feel down, beaten and defeated. I want the flashbacks to go, they have given me the worst feelings today - I'm trying to look for the good. Therapy wasn't too bad today, but I just felt on edge and like I had to keep rubbing my arms or hands to me a little more present. Sometimes I wish I could pretend, but I am so exhausted pretending, my mind keeps spiraling out of control and the fear is strong.

Having a sleep study consultation today, to see if that helps me out some... But I'm not too hopeful, as I'm sure its PTSD related.