Today was not a good day both at work and emotionally. I feel like I'm climbing the walls with - not knowing what's going to happen, very slow work, and conflicts with other workers. I wish I could get laid off (I feel like I deserve it) because I get very depressed with having to be there. Gosh, it wasn't too long ago and for a long time that I had loved my job! There was pizza for lunch because an employee is leaving. We've had quite a few pizza lunches lately because of people leaving.

Fortunately I have the day off on Thursday. Maybe I just need a little time out, but one day plus the weekend just doesn't seem to be enough. I made personal plans for the day; and what I need to do cannot happen on a Saturday.

Last Saturday I went to see an ex-friend because he offered to help with paying the rent, since I didn't get paid last Friday. I didn't want to do it. Our time together was very short and just alright. On Sunday night I decided to call him but felt like something was wrong while I was talking to him. We haven't spoken since then. Perhaps we are really gone from each other for good this time.