Hey troubled man.
In my experience, space and time is what you and your wife require. Sounds like you need to make changes in the way you treat a significant other, you need time to work on yourself.
I’ve been through it too, I put in the work and have learned a lot about myself and how to be happy on my own, to be happy with myself.
My relationships from that point have been much more enjoyable and healthy, but still always learning.
I didn’t get back with my partner, I found out that I didn’t want to and I have moved on.