I’m finally at the crossroad where I can move on. I want to try to move forward with him, if we can put the relationship on healthy ground. It’s as simple as moving what we want to keep from here to there tbh. We go around in circles in directions and indecision. He keeps throwing in a monkey wrench because he doesn’t want the same thing I do, so he takes the wind out of my sails to take me down. I proposed a plan today, he said no, let’s do it another way. I got frustrated at the tug and resistance. I said ‘forget it, I’ll do nothing’, got upset, angry, said I didn’t want to continue this relationship it’s too hard, ‘why’d you have to struggle?’. He started yelling at me for showing him listings that were furnished or were unfurnished and confusing him. I asked, ‘What did that have to do with anything? I was just giving you ideas, not acting on anything.’ He told me that I “don’t get along with anyone” He said that just to hurt me and it’s not even true. He said it because it hurt me very much that a psychiatrist once said to me, “You probably never would have gotten along with anybody”. He said it to me because I got diagnosed with an emotional disorder and he said it go kick me and hurt me with those words, to lash out at me in anger and take me down. It worked. I am down. I am defeated about doing anything, feel small and helpless, feel totally insecure about myself and any ability to live by myself or with anyone else. He kicked me with those words and he did it intentionally. Whose side is he on? Surely not on mine. I told him this relationship is not healthy for me and I don’t want to do it anymore. It’s not healthy. It’s been 25 years unhealthy. I get along with many people…just not HIM. What kind of enemy uses words that hurt you against you just to hurt you and then claims they love you? I don’t think much of him and am tired of crying over this train wreck of a marriage.