Quote:
Originally Posted by isotrope010
I feel that my trauma is a burden to anyone listening. I’ve tried and just can’t unload this burden in a professional setting. My life is full of flashbacks and false memories. I want to leave it all behind but life won’t let me.
How do I start to protect and shield myself from my past without compromising or neglecting my present.
My trust in others is broken. It is difficult to discern who is there for me and who is... there. Nobody understands myself more than me and I just want to be left alone.
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Very familiar to me. .... I also have never been able to share about my traumas in an emotional way. I've also had that issue of not being able to see who is truly there for me. I see more clearly about that one now. I've also had that with the past not letting me go. It's working out slowly over time.
Was the therapist a therapist well trained with PTSD/cPTSD?
As far as I understand, it's necessary to do the emotional sharing/unburdening, to talk about its emotional details, to be able to fully heal from them. But people believing in EMDR also claim it's not necessary to share. It can just be you in the EMDR session, no word ever is uttered by you and you still process OK. I do think this makes sense too. It is just hard to do it alone and with EMDR at least there is a therapist doing the EMDR.
(I don't qualify for EMDR so no personal experience with it)
Your overall question is about a very complex task that takes a long time, years. But it is doable.
Your trust can be restored too over time. Keep going!