Quote:
Originally Posted by TishaBuv
Pete Walker, M.A. Psychotherapy
Pete Walker, M.A. Psychotherapy
I found Pete Walker’s website through my googling, searching for answers. I think he added the Fawn response to the other F’s.
I think my h ran out the door so I didn’t because he is trying so hard to show me his value, like I can’t live without him. I know it sounds strange, but that’s what that was about. It’s ridiculous, because I do not feel at all like I secretly wanted him to do the errand. I thought it would be a nice break for me to get out of the house tbh. But he functions at this level of anxiety. He is overly doting in some ways but will not simply engage me in the relationship I need. Like he overly shows he takes care of us to compensate for how he doesn’t in the way that matters to me. And why can’t he? He just can’t. I’m not angry at him because he’s not capable. I really need to just accept it and learn to disengage from my obsessive wanting it.
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I don't know your husband. But is he the type of person who tries to show image to others like this? With some people, there isn't much to try and mindread because what they show is what you get. I thought of this because you also mention that he is not able to engage in the relationship itself. I.e. he doesn't sound like the emotional, affectionate type.
Also if he's this type then he may be action focused and anxious to do things and that would be a possible drive for him to run to the pharmacy rather than demonstrating value, image, intent.
Sorry if this was too trivial or something. Just my thoughts.
I like the thread BTW... it's something I'm trying to do internally. Like, not externally because I'm able to keep in the trigger emotions and I just get extremely tense instead. I actually have a thread about this in the ptsd section. If I could disengage INTERNALLY, I would not have to be so tense to the point of scary muscle cramps sometimes even. If I could disengage like that, there would be no more problems with this... Or something.