Quote:
Originally Posted by TishaBuv
My therapist said to just accept what has happened and not panic. It sounds like you get anxious ne tense and freeze up. I get panicked, frustrated, want to flee and give up. I have emotional meltdowns. Both ways of dealing with these stressful, conflict situations are not working for both you and I. 
Being around people and situations that are enjoyable and not traumatic are ideal. But sometimes we just can’t avoid it due to people who we have to deal with or situations unavoidable. |
Thanks. That is interesting. I don't know what I am feeling when I get so tense. But I think it's a sense of terror/horror mostly.
What would qualify as freezing? The tension for me is because I hold it all in and try to keep control. Is the freezing about avoiding feeling the emotion? Because while I try to keep control like that - half intentional, half automatic - I definitely don't feel it properly.
Your therapist makes sense, my problem is though that I would first have to know what really happened before I can accept it.
When I'm able to figure it out in retrospect sometimes, then I'm better able to accept it yeah. But I have to figure it out first to know what it is I am accepting. If that makes sense.
...I think what I'd like is, be able to disengage before I even know what it is, because I know oh it's "just" a trigger/emotional flashback right? I don't need to know more in the moment, can figure out the rest later yeah?
PS: Oh well. I can do that if I've rebuilt enough of my sense of reality. Like after cPTSD you kinda get it all garbled up. Lose the basic sense of safety and things both internally and externally are messed up and all that. So if I rebuilt enough normalcy, then it's like, I can contrast these triggers against the normal background and know they are no big deal then. Make any sense?