Thanks. That is interesting. I don't know what I am feeling when I get so tense. But I think it's a sense of terror/horror mostly.

What would qualify as freezing? The tension for me is because I hold it all in and try to keep control. Is the freezing about avoiding feeling the emotion? Because while I try to keep control like that - half intentional, half automatic - I definitely don't feel it properly.


Your therapist makes sense, my problem is though that I would first have to know what really happened before I can accept it.

When I'm able to figure it out in retrospect sometimes, then I'm better able to accept it yeah. But I have to figure it out first to know what it is I am accepting. If that makes sense.


...I think what I'd like is, be able to disengage before I even know what it is, because I know oh it's "just" a trigger/emotional flashback right? I don't need to know more in the moment, can figure out the rest later yeah?