Hm, yeah I hold back from feeling the emotions (terror/horror/whatever) so much that I don't actually feel afraid or helpless.

Do you think it's a strongly controlled freeze response then?

What makes me shocked thinking about this is that I originally was fine with fight until I was told I shouldn't do that because anger is inappropriate and blah. But ofcourse it would be an overreaction sometimes if I was to express anger or too much anger, but it was like I was disabling anger internally too. And that's just not okay by me. I've been working on undoing that.


So I mean I didn't originally mind acting. I just know that I do not want to act on triggers if I know they are just triggers. So if I am not seeing clearly about the stuff then I have two choices by default: fight or freeze.

And if I disable fight that means I hold back from action or from expression of anger or even from FEELING anger. And then I feel very tense in a crappy way like that.


It's just no good, oh well. I've been working on restoring my anger (without overdoing it btw). Because I think I still like fight more than freeze, unless I know the fighting would be seriously destructive because it's just such an overreaction in some cases, if the trigger/flashback is strong enough, very strong.



Anyway I don't expect you to comment on the above, you just helped me think.


But I'm interested in this: what is it like if you know IN ADVANCE that the trigger/flashback is coming and then you actually can avoid it?! I'm very interested in this.




PS: I also added a PS to my previous post lol but that was basically just saying, gotta be patient, while sorting out more of this stuff over time. lol sigh