If the issue is state income taxes then the answer seems like having a small second home. Maybe it could be financed by renting it for part of the year. Don't give up on your dreams Tisha. There must be a reason your children are in another state and that all of this is causing such mental anguish. I feel like all of the mental anguish that I went through was to teach me to stand up for myself and trust in God. There must be a reason for all that you are going through too!

And what I have gone through also taught me to be less impulsive (to ask for discernment before I act), to understand that I don't always understand everything in other people's hearts and that I must learn submit to authority but that I should also openly confront authority in a respectful way (and others should be respectful too, even if they don't agree, I believe that husbands and fathers are due respect because of the authority given to them--the same with government officials and the police--this doesn't mean that we can't take action against them if they cross the line by breaking laws) and trust that it will all work out.