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TishaBuv · May 07, 2021 at 05:19 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by TunedOut

If the issue is state income taxes then the answer seems like having a small second home. Maybe it could be financed by renting it for part of the year. Don't give up on your dreams Tisha.

There must be a reason your children are in another state and that all of this is causing such mental anguish. I feel like all of the mental anguish that I went through was to teach me to stand up for myself and trust in God. There must be a reason for all that you are going through too!

And what I have gone through also taught me to be less impulsive (to ask for discernment before I act), to understand that I don't always understand everything in other people's hearts and that I must learn submit to authority but that I should also openly confront authority in a respectful way (and others should be respectful too, even if they don't agree, I believe that husbands and fathers are due respect because of the authority given to them--the same with government officials and the police--this doesn't mean that we can't take action against them if they cross the line by breaking laws) and trust that it will all work out.

They’re in the other state because we sent them to college there. Our oldest went off to school, met his wife and their circle of friends, decided we were uncool Boomers, and literally changed his identity. They want nothing to do with us. As much as I felt a loving bond to him, and had never had one conflict with him, he did a complete turn around on us. He doesn’t want me moving closer. I’m only going to have heartbreak trying to nurture a relationship with him.

The other son is in grad school there. He works 24/7. My presence there would be an imposition to him. He’s sweet, loving, and caring, but I wouldn’t want to be a burden.

Our youngest is starting college there. I could be closer to help him if he needed something. It would be easier for him to come home for his breaks without the travel issue, and in my fantasy, the whole family could celebrate holidays right there in the same town.

I have had a fondness to the place because I was born there. It could be a new start in a totally different atmosphere. The people have a reputation for being nicer. Maybe I’ll make some new friends! I would like to start to actually work. I have a job which I do not even work in because it is at my own pace and my current boss doesn’t care if I do nothing…so I do nothing.

I hate that I have been a severely depressed, barely functional person for my entire adult life, since marriage! I want to turn around how I feel about myself and how others see me. I want to set a better example for my family.

Right now the clutter in my home is ridiculous. My in-laws passed away and we brought all their stuff into our house.

I’m selling our stuff on ebay one chachkie at a time.

I haven’t been able to park my car in the garage for two years because he stuck his car, that he doesn’t drive, in the space and refuses to move it, or start it, or fix it, or sell it. I hate living with a person who is such opposition!

It’s so overwhelming I feel stuck and helpless.

He initiates nothing that makes me happy. He only does what he likes. He liked clogging our house up with all that stuff and leaving it there. I like him to get rid of it in a timely, efficient way. It’s a battle where i have to keep annoying him to do what I want. It’s so frustrating, it’s just not worth it and I give up and cry—-major depressive disorder diagnosis but living with a tormentor!