My counsellor actually mentioned the Poly-vagal Theory to me (started seeing her because of my attachment difficulties). I wouldn’t say I’ve never been loved, but I’ve had a hard time believing and really feeling it, if that makes sense? I think my adoptive mum did her best in difficult circumstances, but I don’t believe a lot of the damage caused by my biological mother has been healed. Some people in my adoptive family made a few things worse, too.
I have had boyfriends, but never been able to feel settled and secure with any of them. I’ve also felt that “nothing feeling” you describe in your first post - several years ago, someone I didn’t know asked me out, but I sort of went numb. Didn’t even want to get to know him better on a platonic level.