I just moved to an entirely different part of the country, and I am struggling. Unfortunately, I just ended things with my therapist because of the move, so I can't discuss this with a professional. And I haven't had a major bout of social anxiety like this in a few years, so I thought I had moved past it, but apparently, I have not.

This is the most social place I've ever lived, and it's torture for me as an extreme introvert. Nobody here works, and people spend a lot of time hanging out in their yards or on their porches or decks. I'd like to do the same, since the weather is nice here, but I can't because people don't understand boundaries. And people definitely don't understand introverted women.

I exchanged numbers with my neighbor last week because he wanted to borrow something from me and we set up a time for him to come get it. Fine. Now, he's texting me at least once a day for oddball reasons, and I'm getting tired of it. I'm not interested in becoming friends or establishing this kind of relationship where I'm always available to them simply because I'm at home. I don't even feel obligated to be neighborly, since the other day when I went to drop off the item he wanted to borrow, they kept me there for two solid hours talking AT me. They never asked me anything about me. They just talked at me until they finally ran out of things to say.

How do you deal with people like this when you struggle to be assertive with others? I don't want to be a rude neighbor and have everyone think I'm a jerk. I'll be living here at least another year. But I need to let my neighbors know that I only gave them my number in case of emergencies or if they really need something, not so they can text me daily about this or that. I'm also not comfortable that it's the man texting me. It would be a little less uncomfortable if it were his wife, but I wouldn't care for that either.

This morning, he texted to ask me if I could come outside for a few minutes, and I just ignored it. I guess that is one way to deal with them. I seriously regret giving my number to them and I will not be giving it to any other neighbors. Just because I'm at home doesn't mean I want to come outside and talk to you for any reason, unless it's an actual emergency.

When you have social anxiety, these kinds of moments can feel like an attack. And maybe I am overreacting, but I want my home to feel like a sanctuary, and right now, I'm having to keep my blinds shut all day and stay inside because I don't want to be forced to talk to anyone or have to sit and listen. I know I need to learn to be more assertive, but it's hard in a situation like this. I have been completely thrown out of my comfort zone and it is getting harder for me by the day. I never thought I would miss my old city, but I do. Because my neighbors never talked to me unless I really needed to know something. I loved my old neighbors.

The older I get, the more aware I become that people will take advantage of you when they perceive that you're quiet or timid. They use you like a therapist who has to listen to you, because they know you won't interrupt them or, God forbid, give your own opinion and take time from them. I have countless experiences like this, and I'm just sick of being treated this way. I'm too old for it now.

I will be going back to work, I hope, pretty soon, but until then, I feel like I'm trapped in my own house. Anyone else ever dealt with a situation like this in your neighborhood or building? How do you keep your boundaries tight without seeming like a jerk or offending others? Or am I wrong to even care about that?