Ha ha yes it would be ideal!! No, they are not always the same because it morphed over time when the cPTSD got worse. I think I learned enough to avoid making it worse (retraumatising) so I can try and focus on this now, categorising all the triggers and sort them out over time. It's just hard yes. Takes time to identify what memories are linked and how and what they mean and how to categorise it all and how to find working boundaries about it all and so on. Then yeah I can see what you mean, then I would be able to anticipate them...


Also you asked if I'm aware of them, well I'm aware of my own reactions like I described them, I'm not aware of when they happen when I'm around other people. More aware of when they happen when I'm alone, like I'm able to deal with them better because of that, if they come up when I'm alone.



Yeah that is a good question...I think closer relationships have more risk for problems like this in the first place. Because we are more emotionally open and they know us better and know better where they can try and hurt us yes, if there is too much stress and stuff and can't mutually disengage in time. Like spending a lot of time together when there are problems, mental illness, or extreme life stresses, then that is when it gets risky in my experience. Maybe that's just my experience but that was when I got a worsening of my cPTSD with someone close to me. Yes I could say the person had some sh*tty sides to them but they were also under more stress & undiagnosed mental illness and everything and I was too. It is a long story but if we hadn't been close (or if I hadn't felt close at least) then it would not have affected me so bad. Plus it affected me so bad because I already had cPTSD, it just retraumatised me there.


But I think overall my answer to your question here is if two people are both mentally healthy or at least they keep working on themselves if they have issues, and there are no extreme life stresses, then I don't think there would be this button-pressing and triggers and any of that. And it's possible too that only one person wants to work on all that and then the relationship just won't work eventually if the other person doesn't want to. That's actually what happened in the above example with me (where I ended up retraumatised).

So yeah all in all I think if you keep working on your trauma, your triggers, and spend time only with people who also work on theirs if they have any triggers or whatever other problems, then there won't be the same old button-pressing stuff either. It really just feels like to me quality relationships require all the advanced skills you don't get taught in school and continual personal growth.

PS: I don't know if you have cPTSD too or PTSD or childhood trauma without extra severe PTSD symptoms, for me the worst triggers/flashbacks go beyond button pressing stuff, or maybe I just feel that way because I feel like if I don't contain myself then it would end up being so destructive and expose me to more retraumatising situations. Button pressing stuff to me sounds like I'd get seriously upset but not feel a risk of retraumatising. It still doesn't sound like fun though lol and I do have the buttons too so I know what you mean. I want to have the worse triggers/flashbacks convert to button issues and then just work on those without the extra concern of retraumatising. I'm getting there though. That is where I would also be able to link them to memories, process them emotionally and then anticipate them more. Other than that, I think the stuff on retraumatisation concerns would fit more in the PTSD forum, so I won't say more details on it in this thread.