I already deal with sadness, deep sadness, from my family splitting when I was 15. I held a grudge against my mom for over a decade for leaving our family.
I mostly am over it snd would say it totally over it but I think subconsciously I’m not.
But I fear my dad passing cuz then that would mean the end of any family I could’ve had from childhood. I still feel like so much a child or like a teenager forever.