I'm sorry you're feeling that way. I sometimes feel similarly about walking outside. It's like a good idea, but it seems to pass me by when I'm in depression. Anything's really a good idea when I'm in a depressed state (I'm talking about so-called "positive" coping strategies). But honestly sometimes it's too hard to go through with them. I personally feel like (and I'm sure everyone agrees with the fact that) you're a real part of the community here so don't forget that. You give good advice and support and all of that so don't forget that you have that capacity to help people. Maybe try to give that same support to yourself? I don't know. It's tough. I bought a book on self-compassion one time. That seems to help me.