I need help really bad. I hate myself tonight. I feel like everyone hates me.
I did something really stupid tonight and Im not sure why I did it. I do it all the time. For no aparrent reason at all, I got in a mood with my boyfriend (we were just watching tele), and all of a sudden I just wanted to go home. I dont know where it came from, but I think it was because he was drifting off to sleep. I dont know why but I felt rejected. I know he has to get up at 5am every morning so I know he cant help being tired all the time. But I went in a mood and walked home (its also about 40 mins walk back to mine, I had a little vest top on and no coat and it was absolutely freezing), he even insisted he'd get up and drop me off but I just said no. And I walked out.
I was so angry on the way home. But I didnt know why, so I was just blmaing him in my head at first.
I got home and I realised what I'd done. I felt so guilty I started crying. I told myself that if this behaviour carries on, then he's going to leave me.

I dont know why I do it, its like Im a %#@&#! different person. Im such a ***** when I get like that, I just dont care at all, but I cant help it. Then when Im on my own, I have to apologise and I feel that bad, I feel like he hates me and I want to hurt myself.

Someone please tell me what the %#@&#! is wrong with me, because I know its not normal behaviour. Please. I dont know what to do

babyg xXx