Miss Laura, I am sorry you are feeling down today. I'm sorry you even remember such a lousy "anniversary" of sorts. I try not to. I swear it's better that way. I rarely notice the day, for example, that my mother died. Instead, I just remember her birthday.

I was terminated from my career job around 9 years ago. The exact date, who gives a damn! Did I grieve the loss? Boy yes, but not forever. I'm still not working, but in many ways I feel I have accomplished many things these years that many never could. That I wouldn't have, otherwise. Recovery is hard, but a learning experience.

Might some people out there stigmatize me (and you) for not working these years? Absolutely! But they just don't understand. But Laura, please don't stigmatized yourself.

There are so many valuable things to do for oneself and ways to express yourself during disability. Please explore them. "Would haves", "could haves", "should haves", and "if only I was/hads" are wasteful thoughts that accomplish nothing.

BethRags is so right. You are a wonderful lady! Please be kinder to yourself, though.

What you used to do was so admirable/giving, but there are ways you can still give to others even now. Start by giving something positive to yourself.