Quote:
Originally Posted by unaluna
Well, i THINK this answers your original question. Lots of good advice here from the other posters.
I could never understand why you would say you need your h to do certain things to make you happy. But what i do understand from another recent post of yours, is that he seems to be encroaching on your territory, or not giving you space, or sometimes giving you too much space.
Either way, he is not respecting your boundaries. Like with the children - you cannot fill a space he purposely leaves empty. Your decisions - what you REALLY want to do - i believe are found within your space, if your boundaries are respected, and you respect others' boundaries.
You cant change the past. I think its wonderful that your boys will have each other to depend on in the future. Thats not a given. And how to be an older woman in this society is pretty open really.
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Is that your photo from Florida? Is it Cape Canaveral? It looks like a giant falice!
I wanted him to initiate sex with me in a time frame and way that I need it to be (very reasonable, totally vanilla tbh). He was neglectful which led to a cycle of abuse for intimacy. Maybe that is what he really wanted and he got it all these years.
I wanted him to be on my side when others hurt me and have my back. I had an expectation that a loving husband would. He wouldn’t.
The simple truth is he didn’t give me those simple things I needed to feel loved and he still got all his needs met. Maybe insidiously hurting me was his need and he met it and I played into it.
Then people who know us tell me he’s such a great guy and I have it so good I shouldn’t complain. I wish I could appreciate what good I do have and go along and not complain, but it’s too awful and depressing for me.
I’m not handling this life well and I don’t know if I am going to find the strength to actually help myself.
I’m sorry for the frustration I must cause others on here. I’d be sick of me too.