Quote:
Originally Posted by seesaw
This is why I disagree with labeling people this way (or any other way). When we label people we are making it a "them" problem and a "them" solution. It does create a victim mentality of what is done to us. "So and so is toxic and they always make me feel bad." When it's all about other people it does create a victim mentality. When you flip the script to "I don't like so and so's behavior, so I'm not going to be around them that much or I'm going to limit my exposure to them" we make it about our behavior and it gives us control.
Even calling the behavior toxic is not very useful. What exactly are you saying about the behavior? It's more useful to say "this behavior makes me uncomfortable or hurts my feelings or frightens me etc" so you actually know what you're feeling or what your response is versus the label of "toxic" which doesn't really give you much information.
|
I agree 100% with you. Maybe there aren’t even exist so many of what are called as toxic behaviour either. I rectify when I pretty much named toxic behaviours to faults we have.
I was always taught that it was not appropriate to point out with my finger onto another person. I’m so grateful to my parents for giving me this lesson.
I see as labelling a person has been taken to an incredible extreme nowadays. It seems everyone is “toxic” for one or another reason, or vampires, or narcissists or femi-nazis ( another term that put me on guard, too)... It seems as if as soon as we put a label all is fixed up. We feel more secure. We don’t have to make an effort to see what it’s beyond.