Oh dear. I didn’t take the zyprexa last night so I wouldn’t be restless and uncomfortable but I did take the doxepin and I did not sleep until 12:30am. I got so upset I got out of bed and wrote about five pages in a notebook, mostly about my trauma. By the end I was fuming. I really need to get into a trauma program but the one around here will never let me in, they just keep telling me I have to do DBT.

Of course today I felt physically better in the AM but my mental state has declined. I am very depressed. I just want to go to bed but it’s only 1:45pm.