Quote:
Originally Posted by divine1966
You give other people too much powerUnless you are consulting a professional on a specific issue they are trained in (doctor, is my tumor growing or accountant, is my retirement account has enough growth or roofer, is my roof leaking) what does it matter. Certainly no one’s opinion on your marriage matters. Especially since your issue is mostly of such intimate sexual nature that no one could possibly know or have much of an opinion on.
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^Yes, exactly this! I have always been told I give people too much power!
This goes together with listening to the last person I speak to. This goes with having shaky sense of self.
He and I decided to be more kind and gentle to each other. He got frustrated by my changing ideas on him, and instead of saying I was stressing him out, he took a low blow jab at me. He says he doesn’t mean it and he’s sorry.
Do people just take the lowest blows just because they feel frustrated?
It doesn’t make sense to me, but I’m willing to buy it for the sake of ending the argument.
So, the next thing he does to trigger me, I need to learn better coping skills. This has been the problem all along. I do not have healthy coping skills. I harm myself.
The man knows this and so still this is how he treats his ‘beloved’ wife?
Still doesn’t make sense but I’ll try to go with it.
He otherwise truly is a really good guy. It’s not just an act. That’s why I can’t really end it. But, we need to stop this toxic dance and only we can stop it. The doctors didn’t help. We’re on our own again.