I don't blame you for being depressed and I wish I had some magic words that would make everything right for you. It sounds like you are in school now and I hope you are having a positive experience there as this could really help you feel empowered which could lessen your depressive symptoms. Good luck with this!

One thing I do that can really help my depression is practice gratitude, either as a meditation or gratitude journaling. I think of all the things I have to be grateful for, despite everything negative, and it's like a balm for my psyche. For me it's been one of the most powerful things I can do to combat my depression. And it helps me keep a perspective on everything.

Hang in there