You're trying your best it seems from what you wrote and i think that is important! So Sorry that you're not feeling that well! i agree with the others wise and wonderful posters about taking the job if you want to. i think it may be worth trying at least. Please do not be hard on yourself and others. i think you can handle things if you just take this one step at the time. Be proud of yourself. Hugs. Sending many safe, warm hugs to ALL of you, @MamaBear4, your Families, your Friends and ALL of your Loved Ones! Keep fighting and keep rocking NO MATTER WHAT HAPPENS, OK?!