Well I think caring about someone's well being is different then loving them...and there are different kinds of love. In my opinion it is not possible to be in love...truly be in love with more then one person. Too many times people want to have more then what they have got and instead of working to improve and strengthen what they have, they start looking elsewhere and that does nothing but hurt their current relationship. You got back together with you wife so in that sense you chose HER by doing so. It is your job to stick by that promise and if you cant then leave her and be with the other woman if you know you can keep that promise to her but do not string them along. It is very unfair in many ways.