Regarding laziness, you may not be that wrong at all.
In my experience, people like to be freed from any planning. I mean, I've tried meeting people many times and I noticed that whenever I suggested "open" plans (e.g. texting "Why don't we meet this weekend?") nobody would reply. However, if I was too specific, like, "Why don't we watch a movie on Saturday evening? I've seen the billboard and [movie title] seems interesting", I would get instant replies confirming whether they would be able to meet.
For example, instead of saying you'd appreciate it if someone could plan one of you friends' birthday, you could have tried planning it yourself and see how the rest react.
Now, that would be effective if laziness were the real issue. If on the other hand they just have little interest in meeting you, there's no use in planning everything for them.
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"'You mean you live down here?' Matilda asked.
'I do', Miss Honey replied, but she said no more.
Matilda had never once stopped to think about where Miss Honey might be living. She had always regarded her purely as a teacher, a person who turned up out of nowhere and taught at school and then went away again."
— Matilda, Roald Dahl
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