I’m not sure what’s going on with me, yesterday morning I was looking forward to taking something I drew (from a dream) to therapy and seeing what it might be. It’s been months since I did any art as I’ve been really ill. Anyway I took it to him and the whole thing flopped, he said it was interesting and it reminded him of some stuff but I didn’t really get any answers.

Then when I left I remembered how when I take any art stuff to show him, it usually ends up with me feeling ****** after. He doesn’t say anything bad about it but I just get the feeling he doesn’t like what I do, it doesn’t relate to anything inside him and makes me feel super lonely and misundersood.

I used to share photos of it on a private Twitter account to him as it felt safer, but had to stop doing that as he didn’t know what he was looking at and he seemed to not enjoy that kind of communication. He always encourages me to bring art I made in to therapy, which seems odd when all it does is make a huge gap between us.

Sorry this is so long I just don’t know how to feel or what to do. I’ve just slept since I saw him because I don’t want to be awake. I’m so tired.