Okay, so I've been working with T for a year and eight months now.

It has been a fruitful if somewhat volatile relationship. There is a very deep and charged transference at play as well.

We are at a point in our work where I feel like I'm hitting a wall. I've been in this place before. It feels like a huge resistance magnet that is pulling me to stay home tomorrow. I know I won't but I have an incredible urge to call in sick. (LOL) I WANT to be angry at him. I WANT to tell him to go jump in a lake.

I think this is the point where I have to acknowledge my grown up self and let her take responsibility for the child within. As a result of last week's tension, T and I acknowledged the existence of a deeply wounded little girl inside of me. The depth of her grief is much more than I thought. T and I together will continue to explore her pain.

At the same time, I am realizing that this is my life now. My life here with my children and my H. In the now, I am mature, safe and competent. And a mature, safe and competent woman can take care of a wounded little girl. Right?

ARGGGHHHHHHHH