Happy birthday to Soupe and Jennifer!

Sunday and Monday I was terribly depressed. Sunday I also felt super sick after I took my morning meds. I’ve dropped the doxepin, I was too restless. I think that’s why I got so dizzy Sunday morning, because I felt fine yesterday and today.

I wallowed in my bed until about 1pm yesterday until I just couldn’t take it anymore. So I got up and went for a walk. It’s very beautiful out, and should be for the rest of the week. I did feel slightly better after the walk. I also pushed myself to do the dishes and make an easy dinner. I felt a bit better after that.

I had my intake for the program. I’ll be in php for a week or two and then IOP for 8-10 weeks. General adult psych. A voluntary trauma group is available twice a week and I think I’m going to join that too. It’s really the combination of the memory of the trauma plus spring arriving that pushed me over the edge.

Today I feel rather jittery. Like I have to do something. I’ll probably be cleaning the whole house and taking another walk to keep myself busy. I also ordered a set of lanyard cord (also known as gimp). I have to quit the juul soon bc I can’t get the pods online anymore and I can’t purchase menthol pods in my state. I mean I can illegally at the deli but it’s um...sketchy. Smells gross and isn’t clean at all. I think making lanyard keychains will help keep me busy. Theyre easy and mindless and I used to do them to pass the time when I worked at the summer camp.

Jeez I’m hyped. I bought like ten summery tops online. Like $150 worth which is terrible because I don’t know when my disability money will start. I put it on a credit card