I do not have advice but sometimes wonder why she hasn't gone ahead and left? I no longer want to explain my own household situation but there were a lot of facets to it when I had my breakdown. Some of it was over things I cannot control--it involved the interactions between four people and when my FOO flew out--now even more people were giving me advice about a very tough situation that had drug my family down over the course of many years. They meant well and the advice I received here was well meaning but it actually proved to be quite confusing having so many people telling me what I needed to do when I was already reeling from my attempt. And my attempt and confusion didn't help my family's situation so I was part of the problem too--it takes time to sort things out sometimes. So since she is feeling so easily influenced--maybe she needs more time before taking action? Her H and others may be pressuring her too much--IMO sometimes people close to us spend so much time trying to convince us to follow their agendas that we can't hear our own wishes. IMO, we can be married but regularly take quiet time away from people in our lives who are prone to upset or being pushy so that we can eventually think more clearly. As usual, I am likely speaking about what worked for me--I definitely do not have an answer to her situation.