"2. Give the person lots of time. Vietnam veterans found that the average person could listen for only several minutes. When a veteran is willing to talk to you, it is important to allow him or her plenty of time to talk. Don't interrupt to state your feelings about the war."

The telling is hard to initiate. One time when I was first able to tell a little bit of my story, a guy who I thought was very concerned listened and listened. The longer he listened, the more interested and caring I thought he was. I poured out a lot of "stuff" that had been held secret for years.

A couple hours this "caring friend" gave me a friendly tip. He said he was just telling me as a friend ..."Don't tell so much. I can't relate to all that military stuff and other people can't either. Don't go on story after story. It all started with a simple question and 20 minutes later I'm trying to find a way to get out of there. Bless your heart, just friendly advice."

I felt like a total heel, like the scum of the earth we were so often called by our drill sergeants. This remark coming from someone who gave all the body language that meant he was interested and caring. Wow... could I ever trust anyone again? Not too soon, I can tell you that ...

troy