I had an awful day not coping well with how my h triggers me. Thank you all for your wise and supportive comments.
He continues to do the same triggering behaviors no matter what. The therapists were useless. The meds were useless. I used meds today to ‘rescue’ my mood, but that’s not coping in a healthy way.
The big indecision in my life now is whether or not to move forward with him and stay married. I am terrified of being alone. I know we can’t change our problem— it’s too long going and never changing. I’m stuck, but, something will just happen and I’ll take it.
I’m basically alright, a good person, a capable adult for the most part. I have the intelligence, but never applied myself. I have severe anxiety, depression, and was diagnosed with a disorder.
I can’t state enough how much it bothers me at the suspicious way I was diagnosed yet my h is the non-stop button presser! He is an abuser and I go to the moon over it.