I might have mentioned sui in passing but never dwelt on it.

I have been at that point several times and I have learned from it too. Like Nottrustin, it's more about wanting relief than not wanting to live, in my case. I think there are many avenues to get to the point, and many reasons and situations. In my case each time was due to self neglect, not taking meds. It was like my body and brain were both agreeing that I couldn't get any lower, so sui was the next step. I never waneed to check out, just wanted no pain. I was afraid I'd crack up and do something so I got help at that point.

I just wanted to point out that sometimes it's a mix of things to get you to that point. You can have real physical issues with depression too.

IMO it's ok to talk about sui just like any other fear or concern. No one without experience or training can understand what it's like, so be selective about it. I think it's normal to be curious and wonder.

It is NOT normal to not want to live. Please get to hospital or call 911 if you feel at all in danger!