Quote:
Originally Posted by ScarletPimpernel
My SI is definitely to escape the pain. There are definitely things I love and appreciate about life. It's when the pain feels unbearable or I feel trapped, it's my coping mechanism to go to sui.
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I don't experience chronic suicidal ideation, but... I struggled with the thoughts on three different occasions over the last year due to the lockdown and the major disruption it caused. Losing my job, having my training put on indefinite hold and a precarious housing situation were enough to push me over the edge. My normal outlets were unavailable due to all the government restrictions, so finding relief or escape felt impossible. Life suddenly felt out of control. Finding hope felt impossible. Basically I was trapped.
The thoughts were very disconcerting. At first I just dealt with them as best as I could. The last round made me wonder why I was thinking like that. I realized they were all about gaining a sense of control, something the lockdown took from me. At least I could control my fate. Somehow that made me survive. - I shared this strange observation with my psychiatrist. She agreed with me, but pointed out that I tend to overthink and get stuck in my thoughts.
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Dx: Didgee Disorder
Last edited by The_little_didgee; May 13, 2021 at 01:58 PM.
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