I understand these feelings. A couple nights ago, I was in a bad place and texted my T, asking if there was any way we could talk. When I had asked for that in the past (in particular, one time nearly 2 years ago, when I was in a really bad place--though we did have a couple email exchanges then), he'd said no. And he's mentioned in the past that he doesn't do unscheduled phone calls unless it's to briefly assess whether a client may need to go to the hospital. Though one other time he said he'd be willing to speak briefly on the phone sometimes (this was pre-pandemic, so Zoom/video chats wasn't a thing yet).

When I texted him Wednesday night, I said how if the answer was "no," that was fine, and I understood. (And that I knew I'd be charged for his time.) Maybe 15 minutes later, he texted back and apologized that he'd been away from his phone. He said, "Zoom?" I said that worked. A few minutes later, at around 8:45 p.m., I was having a Zoom session with him. We ended up talking for more than a half hour. He really helped me to get into an OK place and I was very appreciative.

But in thinking about it since then, I feel sort of weird that he was willing to do that for me, when it normally would have gone against his boundaries. He has loosened some boundaries in general since the pandemic, like he's said he isn't charging for any client emails, no matter the frequency (he generally charges for long replies, like more than a paragraph or two). So maybe this is just something he's willing to do now but wasn't willing to do before. Or it may have been because he knew I was alone (out of town) vs. at home with my husband and daughter, so was more concerned about my safety.

What's sort of ironic about it is that in our previous session, the topic of therapists who work in the evenings came up briefly, and my T said he doesn't know how they do it and that he wished he had that sort of stamina. Well...

I think I may need to address it with him briefly today (I did email him a thank you after the Zoom call, and he responded kindly to that). Daisy, I think it would be good for you to bring up as well.