So Sorry you're struggling! Please do not give up! i agree with the other wise and wonderful posters about Hoping that things will improve for you and taking the time you need. i'd also suggest to see a therapist if you aren't already. Check out the divorce and separation forums if needed. Please do stay Safe. Hugs. Take things one step at the time. Sending many safe, warm hugs to BOTH you, @Azoey281, your Family, your Friends and ALL of your Loved Ones! Keep fighting and keep rocking NO MATTER WHAT HAPPENS, OK?!