Yes!

I was with someone with BPD for 9 years and we are still very good friends. They had a therapist tell them once that they'll "never have a long-term relationship" - I think that's really messed up, wrong and harmful (rant about "experts" below).

Anyway, we decided to end our romantic relationship not because of their BPD, or any lack of love, but because of external economic factors and the fact that we became very co-dependent (I have ADHD, and this is a very common pattern for us). I needed to stand on my own two feet because of how my mental health affected me and my ability to be a good partner, drove me into shame/guilt spirals and that's not good for intimacy.

My partner didn't have access to any adequate support or resources for BPD other than the internet. They used it to learn more about it so they could recognise the way it manifests, which helped them manage the symptoms. Medication helped too. We also read that for some people, symptoms lessen in their 30s due to a sort of emotional developmental delay - and this was true for us.

I want to validate that BPD is really difficult for the person suffering from it. Not only the symptoms themselves, but how it is perceived or talked about, even by some "experts".

Please try to remember that experts are not always free from bias and a lot of the information about BPD out there I would personally consider very harmful.

I use a rule of thumb: if information is not presented in a neutral or compassionate way, it is suspect. I am not interested in psychiatry that demonises vulnerable people or puts them down. We know far too little about the brain and mental illness to make definitive statements like this also. It's just discrimination.

I would also recommend googling "BPD gifts" or "BPD positives" - they do exist! You are a human being worthy of love and happiness, so try to seek out the things that help you heal, not the ones that put you down.