Thank you, divine! Well, I did consider it a mistake because I was always anxious in previous relationships, but every time told myself it would be different (never was). I just didn’t realise how badly my mental health would tank when I was with him - in some ways it was the best, but also worst relationship I’ve been in. But what you mentioned definitely would have been bad choices to make, I agree.
I’ve never felt lonely for a partner, so really I was trying to avoid hurting him in the end (stupid, really). I’m still happy being single, and I’ve learned a lot in counselling - this relationship was the catalyst to getting therapy for myself.