I looked at some of my old therapy threads. It seems my last therapist was pretty passive aggressive sometimes. She was ok during my surgery but after I healed she became weird. I had also told her about my transference in late October. Then I felt forced into IOP and then she set the boundaries with emails. around the time I healed after my surgery and when I told her about the transference that was when she became cold Then the whole email fiasco got out of control in January. Then I told her I couldn’t take it anymore and she was great but I needed out. I snooped around on her Facebook page from a different account since she blocked me for who knows why. A lot of her posts are about trans people and trans rights. I feel in a way that I was sort of like a specimen to her. That she thought it would be cool to have a trans client. I don’t know. Maybe I’m off. I think there was something not right with her though.

But I just remember feeling so alone last Christmas and while I had the group support I had no 1 on 1 support besides a couple calls with a random case manager. I was just so depressed and lonely last Christmas. It’s given me such bad memories I told my new T what happened and I asked if she worked around Christmas time because I felt so hurt. She said she does work around Christmas time. Which made me feel happy.