The morning started off really well, but quickly went off course. I have a big time intimacy and control issue. I want to work it out, but can’t seem to, plus it takes two. But, I don’t react as deeply any more (though still an awful reaction). The day improved with some cleaning and nice time with my son. A chat with my sister. Laughs remembering some silly family incidents. Reading a book my husband bought about being the partner of someone with BPD and didn’t read. I found his bookmark on page 30. I’m not quite sure what to make of that. IDK if he’s coming home, but I’d like to get along and figure this out for the better together. I keep wanting, but keep failing. So— up,down,up today